本論文是針對研究者自身的瀕死經驗及後續皈依佛教後的經驗和改變，進行自我敘說的研究。由於自我敘說研究特殊的主觀屬性，研究者要能把自己的內心世界攤在陽光下，並深入討論如此切身的經驗議題，實具有研究的挑戰性。傳統思想談到死亡乃是禁忌話題，尤其是親身由鬼門關走一回後，不只是自己，連家人更是避諱談到生病或是死亡。但越是不能談論的事情，就越是引發好奇。現今本土瀕死經驗雖然已有若干現身說法的書籍與文獻，有關瀕死經驗之生理與心理機轉，也有了學理上的初步解析，然而這些他人經驗及學理解釋如何能夠幫助自己解讀自身經驗，則仍然是一個謎。 本研究目的有五項分別為探討研究者個人自身經歷瀕死經驗時的身心歷程、探討佛教信仰對研究者個人自身瀕死經驗的啟發與指引、探討瀕死經驗對於研究者個人自身生命成長的價值與意義、探討具超個人意識屬性的瀕死經驗在生活世界的顯像與意義、期能提供本土瀕死經驗研究的另類思考。研究文本以研究者自己十多年的日記手稿為主，相關時期的活動與經驗紀錄為輔。採用Lieblich等的敘事研究「整體─內容」分析法進行文本分析。 其結果發現，瀕死與超常的獨特經驗能使人的生命產生正向轉化，藉由宗教支持並與自身生命整合，期許能針對自身經驗進行深度探索與反思，整理出瀕死經驗之於研究者個人的生命意義與價值來，並能對本土瀕死經驗研究貢獻一份力量，豐富生死學研究的內涵。 This self-narrative research is related to the researcher's own experiences of dying and the transformation of converting to Buddhism afterwards. Since the issue of death is an traditional taboo, it is quite inevitable that self-narrative approach is challenging. Albeit the issues of dying experiences are abundant, and the physical and psychological mechanisms of dying experiences are analyzed through academic publication, how people's experiences and academic explanations help interpret personal experiences still is an enigma. The research comprises five sections, first is to discuss the researcher's personal dying experiences; second is to discuss the inspirations from Buddhism; third is to discuss the personal dying experiences to the meanings and values of personal growth; fourth is to discuss the dying experience of transpersonal consciousness to the presentation and the meaning of living world; fifth is to incite local dying experience research to doing alternative thinking. The research text is based on researcher's diary, and relevant activities records. Lieblich's narrative research method is adopted for analysis. The findings reveal that dying and paranormal experiences could turn life positive, and by gaining the support from religion and life integration, personal experiences could be further reflected and explored in a new way. By organizing personal dying experiences, researcher has made surfaced the meaning and the values of life, and enriched the width and depth of the study of life and death.
