本研究以自我敘說的方式來整理研究者經歷大學室友自殺後，如何去調適室友自殺所帶來的悲傷與生命意義的追尋，也因室友自殺後迫使研究者不得不去面對那塵封已久的自殺意念。 近年來的相關研究，大多以親人自殺後的遺族研究為主，較少探討經歷好友或同儕自殺的影響，甚至是經歷室友自殺後的研究。此外研究者也訪談共同經歷室友自殺的另一位室友，也試著從不同室友的視角來看事發多年後又是如何去調適悲傷，但卻驚訝的發現他並不像研究者這麼在意室友自殺的議題，這樣的反差也值得研究者去思考。這也是研究者想試圖透過書寫自身的經驗來給讀者參考。 在經歷室友自殺後的歷程中，可以分為幾個階段：「室友自殺的衝擊、碰觸內心憂鬱的心、不斷向外在尋找答案、轉向碰觸內在的自殺意念、最終誕生自我的反思與體悟。」對於生命的意義，有人選擇積極面對，有人則是消極逃避，研究者試圖以自己的經驗來交代如何面對這樣的危機、調適悲傷與發現生命的意義。 This study uses a self-narrative approach to sort out how the researcher adjusted to the grief and search for meaning in life after experiencing the suicide of a college roommate, and because the roommate's suicide forced the researcher to confront the long-lost thoughts of suicide. In recent years, most of the relevant research has focused on the study of survivors after the suicide of a relative, but less on the effects of impact by the suicide of a closed friend or peer, or even after experiencing the suicide of a roommate. In addition, the researcher interviewed another roommate who had experienced the suicide of his roommate and tried to see how he adjusted to the grief years after the incident from a different roommate's perspective, but was surprised to find that he did not care as much as the researcher did about the subject of his roommate's suicide. This is also an attempt by the researcher to write about his own experience for the reader's reference. In the process of experiencing a roommate's suicide, it can be divided into several stages: ”the impact of the roommate's suicide, the touching of the inner depressed heart, the continuous search for external answers, the turning to the touching of the inner suicidal thoughts, and finally the birth of self-reflection and realization. Some people choose to face the meaning of life positively, while others choose to avoid it negatively. The researcher tries to explain how to face such crisis, grieving with the loss and discover the meaning of life from his own experience.
